on being grown up

I once knew a magic
and I would find it in everything. 
Or perhaps, dwelling within me
I didn’t need to find it - or even look;
how easy it was to dream without sleeping
and shine brilliant excitement
thinking about infinite potential.
At some point, something happened-
not inescapably bad, 
(although I am no stranger to the night)
but along the way I lost the power of my imagination,
preoccupied in the madness for just a second,
I forgot it amongst my selfish pursuits,
only to realize what is missing too late,
and now, must spend the remaining days,
hoping to recapture what I never noticed I lost.





Waves of excitement
wash up abandoned dreams
across wounded coastlines,
softly onto beaches of fleeting desires
and violently against rocks of loss-
some of us are gentle oceans
and the rest are god damn pirates.





I know it’s a war out there
because something is always killing me.
I went out into the trenches
for drinks last night,
thinking about trouble,
to mingle with the salty dogs
and watch the women all throw shade-
I caught the hands of a giant
just to gather ammunition
for a few more rounds to blast
into the page.




life in an amusement park

Waking up from a round trip
straight to hell and back,
I’m still sweating,
and with breath like gasoline
I dust off the ashes
and dodge calls from the devil
who is jealous of the way I danced through his flames;
but long nights make long days
and I’m mourning the morning,
wrestling the rest of the day,
hour by hour
into the dusk,
where I can retire
to look for red wine redemption
at the bottom of a glass,
but find only ostensible truths
fortify a bar stool prophet-
enlightened for the night,
or at least another drink
before getting into bed to sleep it off. 




zero tolerance tardiness policy

It’s one of those mornings
where nothing makes sense-
I just ashed in my coffee
racing with the clock,
and after a night of sleep replaced
by bottles of wine, spliffs,
and conversations about the moon,
I knew I’d end up here,
driving through traffic
with my head in the clouds.  




summer ‘16

I think I’ll
sucker punch the summer
so I’m not wrestling the night
into the morning everyday,
waking up in a LA sweat,
hoping today will be the day
but procrastinating until tomorrow.